[Note to self, some day I need to either edit this, or delete the post]
I blog because I want the world to know I have nothing to hide.
At the end of the day I want to be able to think that my corner of the world is better off on account of the work I did today. I didn’t get that warm fuzzy feeling from my day’s efforts at the office, so it’s been dragging on my mood.
Dating is a long series of failures followed by a spectacular success. If one has dated a dozen people and each time you exchange undying vows of everlasting love, but mutually agree that it’s time to date someone else, then one is an odd bird. The process is grind. I bet salespeople feel the same way. After 50 rejections they are feeling rather incompetent, then they get a big sale and damn! They’re the best salesman in the world! And I’d dare say that dating is a bit more brutal than selling insurance. People legitimately refuse to buy insurance because they don’t want insurance. People refuse to date you because, well, they might not like you. In sales, you hear exactly why someone didn’t buy insurance. (Costs too much. Don’t trust Primamerica) In dating, it is fairly rare for people to say why they are rejecting you and it might be that they don’t know themselves why they are reacting negatively. After all, who’s going to say, “Gee, it was a nice date, but you aren’t acting like an alpha male.” Instead, they say, “Let’s just be friends.”
Dating if you have kids is really complicated. Prospective dates need to be kid friendly. The kid needs to be friendly to dealing with prospective dates. Dating when you have custody is a logistics problem, except when the prospective date also has kids. After all, how romantic is it to take a prospective date to Chuck E Cheese? If the kid need to be picked up from day care at 5:55 and dinner is at 6 and homework is at 7 and bath time is at 8:30 and reading is at 9:00 and bed time is 9:15, now where is the time to hang out with a prospective date?
Dating after you have a full time job is definately more complicated. After 40 to 50 hours of time is burned up working and a good chunk of the rest of the time is burned up doing laundry and dishes, there isn’t as much time for hanging out as there was during college. (OK, for people who worked their way through college, they didn’t have much time either and probably didn’t date as much either and their debt-ridden slacker classmates)
Which isn’t to say that dating is hopeless, it just means that it is something of an irratonal leap of faith, because all the stars need to line up and who knows if they will until something happens?