It’s a concept, not yet an event.
I’ve got two meditation events on the calendar each week until my legs revolt, so I shouldn’t complain too much.
And someday I need to blog about if falling in love is like having OCD. Maybe I’ll start today. I’ve never had OCD or OCPD, so it is hard to say. Subjectively, it is somewhat about being fixated on someone. But it also feels like addrenaline, exciting and energizing. It feels like neurochemical confidence. Weeks before you consider the world rationally, as if it were a rather rough place to succeed, and bam, all of a sudden, there is no stopping. You hear a name, you see a face and you really want to seek it out like a phototropic plant. Okay, like a sunflower.
And, as odds are more likely than not, they don’t really share the sentiment? They start to drift into the ideals. Those you have fallen in love with are real as long as they are around, and when they just aren’t there, their flawlessness gets purified and they become a platonic ideal, as beatiful and blameless as a circle.
Now that is a platonic relationship.
A long time ago, I’d get just tremendous crushes on girls that there was no way I could follow up on for lack of a script and courage. I’m now trying out equanimity and compassion and it works. I wish her well, I feel the existential pain of her situation, I’m not attached to winning a relationship and I’m not adverse to a relationship failing to start.
Existential pain is the pain of being alive and not knowing why. I mean, not everyone is like me and already knows that as far as existential projects go, you don’t need anything else other than a lime flavored sugar cookies, a book club, family, satellite radio and phynalethylamine.